Black Women: What Do You Consider To Be Controlling/Weak?

This is strictly dedicated to my sista's. I get tired of dealing with the topic of men are dogs, and women are this and that, so I now want to ask questions instead of making statements. I was watching some reality T.V. show that featured some bloggers having a conversation about women being leaders and this and that. One woman said that she prefer's a man to lead, and that she cannot stand a weak man, and that a weak man is no good.

So now, I have a hard time judging what a woman considers to be weak. In my lifetime I have been told "you are not my daddy" a thousand times give or take one or two, being that I am a leader and have to be in control of my household. I consider myself to be a pretty good man, I work, Im faithful, I spoil my women, and more than likely I am going to give her what she wants at the end of the day unless its just crazy. I have also been called controlling for leading my household in a Godly fashion, and I have also been called weak in the past for letting my women have their way. Below I am going to give some examples of when I was called controlling and Weak!

                             
Now here is my example of Leadership and being a strong man in my household or relationship. First of all, I try to budget and handle our finances together so we can pay bills and have things in life. I think that couples should come to an agreement on how late one stays out and let each other know where they are going. This is not for control, but for safety. So now, here is where I was called controlling! I have been known to tell my woman to not stay out so late, her response was that "as long as I am safe, it should not matter how late I stay out". I told my woman to not spend so much money on certain things, I was told that as long "as Im not spending your money, you should not worry about what I spend it on". This often leads to the "your are not my daddy saying",
                                               
   


As far as being called weak, here are some things that I have done to be called this. If my woman says that she wants something, I will go and get it, or try my best to. If she asks me to do something, I will do it as long as it does not go against my GOD! Shedding tears due to the fact that no matter what I do this woman is still not happy. So... I have been called weak because I was suppose to tell her no sometimes, but when I did say no, there was an argument. Also called weak for crying, but if I didn't cry, I would have killed somebody! Thank God for tears!

Pardon my language but, this shit can confuse the hell out of a man, especially a good one because we really do care about our women. Now as for me today, I have learned that there has to be some type of a balance. You cannot be to tough or to soft, but somewhere in between. Now I believe that most good men do have balance, but you mush understand, that a real man is going to be somewhat controlling or shall I say, a Leader. I know you women do not like the control word, but a leader must have control. It's in a mans nature to have control, its how God made us. Now control does not mean that we must misuse our women, that control can be used for good and it should. Now I used to be confuse on what you wanted, but now it does not matter anymore. Im a leader, and I will run my household as well as be good to my woman, but there can only be one set of balls and i have them. I just want to know, what do you ladies consider to be Controlling, and Weak.

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Men vs Women: We are all Screwed up!

Men are Dogs, Women say that they want a good man but..., he this and she that, I say let that Sh%t go. I have read and involved myself in countless conversations about men and women only to realize......... wait for it...... We are all messed up. It does not matter if you are black or white, male or female, dog or cat, we have issues. Yes, men can be dogs, lie, cheat, and so can women. 

I have befriended plenty of men and women in my 33 years, and most of them were cheaters, liers, and/or straight up confused. I think that it is time to stop pointing the finger on matters of the sexes, and find out how are we going to do better. There are plenty of good men and women in the world, its just hard to get the good ones together. There are good men who choose whorish women, and there are good women who choose doggish men. There are good men who may cheat, there are also good women who may cheat, guess what, we are human who make mistakes.

I think that there is one solution for all of this, take your time and find the person that completes you and/or adds to your happiness. The reason that I use the word "add to" is because no one can make you happy but GOD. You are setting yourself up for failure if you think that someone will make you happy, what happens when they don't do what you want them to do, be unhappy? The key is to love on that person and respect each other.

As a pretty good dude who is going through a divorce, I realize that you cannot put expectations on people. People are not going to act like you want them to, or do what you want them to all of the time. If you think that this is going to happen, then you are going to be a unhappy camper. I think many of us choose the wrong people, or sometimes we put to many expectations on them when we meet them. When we do not get what we want from them, they turn into dogs or hoes. 

Let's start discussing how we can start to be better men and women to our mates, that should be the topic. I mean ask yourself, do you do everything you should or could do for your mate? I bet my ass that you come up short sometimes. I have not been blogging a whole lot lately because of what me and my future ex-wife had been going through, and I have learned alot about life in general during this time. When you are sitting there thinking that you are the perfect mate, check yourself before you call your man or woman out. Let's stop dogging the opposite sex and having discussions on how we should treat one another. In the black community we are not getting married, and if we are, more than likely we are going to end up in divorce. I never imagined myself divorcing my wife, not in a million years, but we let the devil enter our relationships and tell us that "Im not happy anymore", and we bounce. We have to many broken homes people, let's learn how to treat each other and stick together! The grass aint always greener!

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Black Women: What Makes You Such A Good Woman?

Well I was walking through a certain department at work and I seen a young lady who dated a guy I knew and asked... "Have you and So n So got married yet"? She said no, and that she was in no hurry. The response I got from another young lady was... "Well, you know how f'd up you men are"! I got to thinking, yes we have some bad men in the world, but the women in it are not all so innocent either. I really started to think to myself, why are the majority of the women I know such GOOD WOMEN?

Women play the same games men play, most of them keep a spare on the side, are bossy, will not let a man take control (unless she is in a good mood), and are full of you know what in there own way. Ladies, some of your are single because you want to be, but some of you are single because you need to be as well. Brothers catch a bad wrap, but brothers who are on the hunt looking for something serious, often find women who are full of it as well. I truly believe that there are just as many good men as their is women, its just that men are not as sneaky as women. The BS that men do will hit the fan, and the BS that women do will probably go to the grave with them. So ladies, could you please tell me WHAT MAKES YOU SUCH A GOOD WOMAN THAT YOU CAN'T FIND A MAN, IF THAT IS YOUR CASE? Below is a list that I personally think makes up a pretty good women, are you any of these ladies?

• GOD FEARING
• CARRY YOURSELF LIKE A LADY
• WILLING TO BE YOUR MANS BACKBONE
• FAITHFUL
• WILLING TO LISTEN 
• ALLOW HIM TO LEAD
• LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY

Black Women: SHOULD WOMEN BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR PROVOKING MEN TO...

Now I was in a conversation with a young lady the other day about women provoking men, and she stated that the blame could not ever be put on the woman when something disrespectful happens to them, which I agree. However, I think that women should always be careful when doing certain things. A woman has the right to wear what she wants, dance how she wants, and act the way she wants without being disrespected. The point I want to make is that women do get disrespected by us men, especially when doing certain things. Take a look at the picture above, she is doing what ever she feels, but will it be a shock to you if she gets groped when she gets off of that car? I can almost guarantee you that while she is on the car she is being referred too as a bitch or a hoe, and she thinks that it's cute. Now she might not be those things, but she will be called those things because of the way she is acting.

She does not deserved to be raped, or touched, but more than likely she will be touched, and she will think that its cute until somebody takes it to far. The next time these guys see another young lady acting in this manner, they will think that it is ok to do the same exact thing. Now act like this in front of some rapist and see what happens. He would be dead wrong, but the woman will be the one going through the pain, so why give him something to loose control over. It's like going through a crip hood wearing all red, yeah I have the right to wear what I want, but I would not be surprised if I did not make it out of that hood.



A man should never hit a woman right, well I agree with that, but should a women keep putting her hands in a mans face after he says stop? I mean women will try a man to the fullest with the thought that he can't hit me for whatever reason. Now Ladies, most men have a button that you can push that will put him in a "YOU TRYING MY MANHOOD FRAME OF MIND" and you do not want to keep hitting that button. Now let's say that you get smacked for trying him, would you understand why you got smacked? Now as a man, I'm not going to push a woman's buttons with certain things because I know that she will catch a attitude. I mean say something about a woman's kids and see what you get. As a man, I'm not going to provoke a woman to do something that could spark something controversial, so would you as a woman?

Black Women: ARE THIRSTY WOMEN THE REASON THAT YOU ARE NOT MARRIED?

Well Black ladies, the word on the streets is that you guys can't snag a husband. I don't know about all of the statistics and all, but I do know that their are many of you guys that have never been married or even proposed to, and are wondering why not. Well in my mind, I know some good reasons why not. Today I will discuss one of them, and that is the infamous Thirsty Woman! Now I'm new to this word, and I actually like it because its so fitting of some of the women that I knew from the past! From what I understand, a thirsty chick is a woman who is desperate for a man and is willing to put up with or do certain things that ensures that she will snag him. Well black women, as a black man that used to be on the single market, I think that these women can ruin it for you. Let me tell you why....

I have been off the market for about 7 years, but back when I was on it, you could get a woman quicker than you could borrow a dollar. My problem was that I wasn't the type of man that wanted just any woman, I had to have THE woman. So having all of these different women were not a plus for me, it was more of a headache. I tried it, but it was to much trouble and not for me. Now, for the brother that would like to sow his royal oats, this brother would be in Royal Heaven. There were times when I was sitting at the bar and the chick beside me would say " Meet me at my house" after a few minutes of talking. Sometimes they would throw hints with " I think I'm will get a room tonight and just relax". I have actually had them trying to talk me into going out with them by telling me that they will pay and drive just please go with them.

Some of these women are worse than the men, I know some that will say that they don't want anything serious, just hit it and go home. There are plenty of women who do not want to be married, they just want to have fun, you know play the field. Ladies let me say this again, THEIR ARE PLENTY WOMEN GIVING AWAY THE GOODS BY THE TON! I mean its ridicules, if you only new what your little girls were doing? It used to be where a brother had to pull out a little change, but the best part is... THEY DON'T EVEN WANT THE MONEY, THEY WANT THE SEX. I can honestly say between the ages 22 and 25 that I met somewhere around 100 women, give or take 10! Now I wasn't some type of Super Player or nothing, hell this is probably nothing for the average guy now, but I can tell you that at least half of that hundred was easy if I chose to go there. They were women of all ages, young to middle aged, and VERY THIRSTY. At the time that I met my wife, I deleted 94 active numbers in my phone.

                                 
Now, that was 06, what do you think is going on in 13? Now I will say that the average man would not marry with those numbers, and within three years of going out mixing and mingling, that's a small number, what about adding another 5 years to that? Long story short, there are to many women of all ages, shapes, and sizes throwing themselves at your future husband and he is like a kid in the candy store. The only different now is that the women will jump in the bed with him and another woman and love it. Now if you are having a hard time meeting a guy, it might be because 2 or three women are calling him asking him to come hop in the bed, and wait, he can record it to and show his friends! Crazy aint it, but this is real talk. I could not get that wild do to my fear of the LORD, and I just was not raised that way. Just something to think about ladies! P.S., A man does not have to be Trey Songs to have it like that!

WHY WON'T RICH WOMEN DATE POOR MEN?

I have noticed that not many rich women will not date a poor man. It seems to me that when a woman makes it, she goes out and gets a brother that has plenty of loot as well. Now I understand that no woman wants a dude who is not doing his part, but a man that has goals and no money should stand a fighting chance. I once heard Lisa Raye say that she will not date a poor man, and he has to have so much money. I can't get with that ladies, especially my black sistas that knows how hard us brothers have it. You do realize that the brother with all of the money was once poor. So lets say that you married a rich dude, and you love him and all. You mean to tell me that if that same dude was poor with the same everything else, you would not date him.

Now when it comes to us men, we could be a billionaire and marry a woman who works at Mickey D's as long as she looks and acts the way we want. I mean the girl can be str8 out of the hood, as long as she fulfills our needs we are good. Ladies, you could invest your money in us brothers because we don't have it as easy as the other guys. Sometimes a brother needs more of a boost, many of us have not had the opportunity that we deserve. Many of us dropped out of school to hustle and be the man of the house due to the fact that dad was not there. Im not saying that you should have low expectations, but stop looking over some of us, because we could be the next Diddy, Magic, Lebron, or Jay Z. All of these guys were dirt poor once upon a time. So would you give a broke man a chance if you were successful?