TIL DEATH DO US PART: MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR THE WEAK!

For some reason marriage has become something so hard for Black folks to commit to, and when they commit to it, it often ends up in divorce. Some people get married with the mindset that "if it does not work, Ill just Divorce". WRONG WRONG WRONG, and its just all out foolish to think that way. When you say that you love some one, I mean really really love someone enough to say those vows and marry them, then that's it. When you commit to GOD, there is no breaking that commitment. Now, if you are getting hit upside the head, and someone is just totally dogging you to the point that its dangerous, by all means get out of that situation, but if you guys are disagreeing, arguing, and/or going through some challenges, that should be worked out.

When you take divorce out of the equation, that means that I CANNOT LEAVE, and you both will have to work things out. I mean come one, if two people really love each other, how is it that they cannot work it out.There is one key ingredient that should be in you marriage, and that's GOD. Often times we try our best to make the other person happy, which you cannot take on that responsibility because you will come up short. You cannot make someone happy all of the time, that just will not happen. Now, if you love your wife or husband the way that GOD speaks, you will see a big difference. I am always hearing people say that they are not happy, well do not blame that on the other person, you better find out a way to be happy. People will do things to hurt you, there is no doubt about that, but if you love them like you said when you made that commitment, you will see it through.

Til death do us part! What does that mean to most people when it comes to marriage? Ill tell you what it means to me! It means that when you are pissed and/or heartbroken by your mate, you still should take care of them and do what your are suppose to do for them. I will voice my opinion and try to make things right, and she should be willing to do the same thing. Stop putting so much faith into people, because we are only human and make stupid mistakes. Be willing to forgive them and see what you both can do to make things better, but no matter what, no DIVORCE. Often times you swear you mate is so wrong and maybe they are, but have you ever been wrong? Marriage is a lifetime commitment, not a fly by night, I can't have my way, you have pissed me off so I'm gone type of deal. You made a vow each other, and most importantly GOD. If you don't believe me, go ahead and leaver your mate and see what else is our there. I'm not saying that there are not other good people in the world, but what happens when you commit to them and they do not make you happy? Are you going to bail out yet again? Before you tie that knot, make sure that you are built for that, and can really commit to that person until the death of one of you

Communication: Do you really know how to Communicate?

Communication seems very simple right! One person is talking, and the other person is listening, but... if either person does not communicate effectively, a serious problem can arise. Communication is important in every relationship, and there are many times when relationships are tainted or ends due to the communication breakdown.

First of all we have to learn that we have to tell people how we feel, if we don't we will just act on our emotions and possible hurt the other party involved. Now when you get ready to talk to your mate or whomever, you need to watch how you say things and the tone that you use because other people might take something the wrong way, which will create an argument or confusion. When you need to get something off of your chest, do not talk down to someone or come at them in attack mode. All this will do is make that person defensive and snap back at you without even thinking about your problem.

There is also responsibility on the listener to not get so upset about what they are hearing. The fact that the person is talking to you should let you know that they might not mean any harm. Even if they are yelling, you should try to understand why they are upset and do not play into that. Most of the times the two people end up yelling and saying a bunch of bull that does not even have anything to do with the convo. Now you are just going to hurt each others feelings with ugly words.

I think that this is what is wrong with a lot of our Black Marriages and why divorce comes up so much. Either we do not communicate with our mates correctly, or we don't do it at all. We have to learn how to talk to people, and listen at the same time. If you are anything like me, sometimes you think that you are so right that you can't even listen to the other person. Even if you are right, the other person might not process things the way you do, so you should be patient and listen to them. The key is respect, and if you have that for one another, the communication should be cool. This is something that I have learned through marriage, and its very important. You might think you know, but do you REALLY know how to communicate with people, especially your mate?

Michael Jordan Married! She ain't Black Either!

Look at what good old Mike brought home, A 35 year old white woman. They say she is not white, but Im going by the picture. Now Im not one to get mad at people marrying outside of their race, thats not really a big deal to me. Its just that he had a nice black women who stuck with him, he screwed her over, and look at what he went and got. Any ways, hope it was worth it Mike!

Black Women: LET YOUR MAN BE THE MAN (at all times).

I was watching Real House Wives of ATL, you know the episode where Porsha said that she was Glad her husband LET her go on the trip, and the women in the limo was acting like she said something crazy. I actually gained a new respect for that woman. I think that the ladies where trying to go to a strip club. She actually realized that she has a husband that she needs to listen to and consult with. See there are plenty of Black women with the "I go where I want to go, and do what I want to do attitude". When you get married, the IIIII's are gone for good, thats over with. You just can't pack up with the girls talking about going to the strip club, and this goes both ways. When you get married, you can't go around collecting phone numbers of the opposite sex, how do you explain going out and letting someone put their body parts in your face.

 Now I wrote a post a while back on thesinglesexymommy.com about submitting, and for this one I will not use this word, I will use the terms Leader and Head. The post gained a number of responses from women, and lets just say that there were some very strong opinions voiced. Now me, I totally believe that the man should have the final say so, just as GOD says that we have to come to him first, he has left us with instructions on how everything in life should be set. I don't go around quoting scriptures, but I believe in the beginning of that good book GOD allowed man to name woman, and gave him control over everything. Enough of that, these are just my thoughts and beliefs.

Now, in this post I will leave out GOD because there will be some people that say that everyone does not believe in GOD, or the same GOD. So for sake of that argument, let's leave my Father out of this. Now, my experience with black women in my 32 years of life leads me to believe that they do not know what the hell they want. Not all of you sista's, but some of you, and I will add the mast majority that I know. Most women say that they want a strong man, not a weak little crying wimp. Now when I see a strong man exercise his manhood, sooner or later he is going to be called controlling, or "not my daddy", or you don't tell me what to do. If he bows down to his woman, then he will be called a bitch of a man, or to soft. If he try's to fall somewhere in between, he's not enough of this or enough of that. So guess what happens, the woman, yes the woman that cant get along with other women. The woman that will cry as soon as her emotions get's out of hand. The woman that needs a man to open that jar thats to tight, change the tire, and take out the trash wants to take over everything.

I can almost guarantee that if a man is living in the house, and he is not allowed to take charge or keeps getting knocked out of position, the house is in total chaos. Ladies I'm not talking about a dog, Im talking about if a good man is in the house. It seems to me that Black Women only wants a man to take charge when it's convenient for them. If taking charge means denying them from what they want, you better count your losses buddy. If your man is a Real Man, and you are treating him as such, there is not to much that you will go lacking for. A woman that has a real man, and treats him like one will not have a problem getting her way or treated how she should. You know why men are so controlling and want to be the Head, because it's how we were created. Most women I know want to be spoiled and want attention, its because that's the way they were made. I do not go against human nature, I flow with it. So with that being said, Why n d hell is it so hard to just let ya man Take Charge, have control, and/or the final say so? Come on with those comments!